Officially. He is out there somewhere, acting childish and selfish as ever, as evidenced form the e-mails he sent me when I finally contacted him, after all these years, but I have disowned him. No, you didn't "die in Atlanta", you just refuse to take responsibility for your actions. Don't tell me that it hurt you to decide to not be my father and that I pushed you to it -- all I ever did was want you to be normal and love me and care about me. But now I can see that that could never have happened. I feel dirty knowing your genes are in me, I feel like an abomination of nature knowing that I have some of your facial features and personality traits, that I came from you. I wish you had never helped conceived me. I wish I had a real, loving father. However, I do not, and I have got to realize that and go on living and making something of myself despite that.